Perception jokes
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!
Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Ted stinks!
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."