Perception jokes

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.

Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

An autistic man walks into a bra.

Why could the blind man not see?

Answer: Because he is blind.

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.