Perception jokes
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Ted stinks!
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.
You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.