"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
Perception Jokes
I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
You wanna see a joke? Look in a mirror.
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
I am glass! People see right through me.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
