I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals.
Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What is always moving but we never see it walk?
Time! Hahahaha!
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
