Perception jokes

You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

So a blind man walks into a bar.

At least he thinks so.