Perception jokes

Why can’t blind people read this?

They can’t see.

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.

How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?

She didn't.

Skinny deformed creature in the distance.

Want another joke? Look in the mirror.

If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!

Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.

Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...

The more they smile, the less they see.

Why can't blind people fish?

Because it was "see food."

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

"I spy with my little eye..."

- Noting I am blind -

I looked in the mirror.

I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.

But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.

On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?

I can't wait to have 2020 in my hindsight.

Me: "You wanna see my dad?"

Some kid: "Yeah?"

Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."

Some kid: "He ain't appearing."

Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."

*The kid laughs*

Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃

On the plus side, I finally hear voices talking to me... just wish they were outside my head.

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.