Perception jokes

Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.

What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Wanna me to show you a joke?

*Points at face* Funny, right?

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.

When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"

I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."

You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.

Do you know where Helen Keller lives?

Neither does she.

I can hear the whole world booing me.

I am glass! People see right through me.

Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!

I thought fruit tasted good. I guess I was wrong.

What did the right eye say to the left eye?

"Between you and me, something smells!"

How does Helen Keller smell?

Pretty bad, she's dead!

We don't read backwards.

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.