Perception jokes

When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"

I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."

You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.

Do you know where Helen Keller lives?

Neither does she.

I can hear the whole world booing me.

I am glass! People see right through me.

Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!

I thought fruit tasted good. I guess I was wrong.

What did the right eye say to the left eye?

"Between you and me, something smells!"

How does Helen Keller smell?

Pretty bad, she's dead!

We don't read backwards.

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

Wanna see something dark?

Close your eyes.

What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!

Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?

Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.

When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.