Perception jokes
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Why does everyone call me racist?
My shadow is black.
You're so skinny that people can't even see you.
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
We can only see 90 degrees.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.