Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
Perception Jokes
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
Water, tastes that one tap in school:
A tier water at 3 am.
S tier.
12 pm water f tier.
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.
Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree
Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.
It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!
I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’
Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.
A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from
Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”
That’s the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it don’t matter how much her ass is worth
or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high can’t nobody top me
She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”
I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
