I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.
Kid: dad what is it like to be drunk Dad: you see those 2 trees over there, if you were drunk you would see 4 Kid: dad there is only 1 tree
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good but he says that he doesn't taste anything
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
me: "you wanna see my dad" some kid: "yeah?" me: "close your eyes and he will appear" some kid: "he ain't appearing" me: "sorry i thought he would appear for you. he won't appear for me" *the kid laughs"
moral: not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on 🙃
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
