Pedophile jokes
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic.
Age is just a number, Jail is just a room.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Why was the guitarist arrested? He fingered a minor.