Nutcracker jokes

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?

It was afraid of the nutcracker.

Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!

I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"