Pedophile jokes
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.
The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
The + in LGBTQ+ stands for pedophiles.
Man's got that big bati, you know.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.
Lol, dick, I'm the dick and duck.
Pooooop.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"