Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
Me: "I like kids."
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
