Pedophile jokes
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
you.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
Me: "I like kids."
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"