Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
Me: "I like kids."
Your dad never needed a van for you.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
