Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?
A Minor.
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
