Child safety jokes

Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.

What is red and cries and spins around and around?

- A baby in a microwave.

What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.

How do pedophiles follow the law?

They drive it slow in the school zone.

What's the difference between Michael Joseph Jackson and Disney films? Disney films can still go near kids.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

What do pedophiles do when they wake up?

Turn on the child safety lock on the car.