Las Vegas jokes

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?

Consensual Rapper 7.

EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!

What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?

The Las Vegas shooting.

Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.

What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.

What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?

Tupac

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.

If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.

... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.