Resistance

Resistance jokes

Mess

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

Arrest

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

Blender

How did you get Sally into a blender?

- Without much resistance.

How do you get Sally out of a blender?

- Tortilla chips.

Memes

Arrest

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

Rest

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

Boat

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

Friend

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Fly

A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

The French: "But how did you do it?"

The Italian: "I killed one."

The German: "So what?"

The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

Weed

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

Dog

A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"

"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."

"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"

"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."

Rest

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

Pancake

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

Memes

Community

www.Stand ready for my arrival, Worm. You were given orders, you were given time. You were given more leeway than most, and yet I find this planet unprepared for the arrival of our Viltrum Empire. The Empire anticipated your resistance, which is why they sent me. I am Conquest, and I am your last chance to fulfill your duty. [Mid-Fight] The truth is... I want you to resist. I'm not here to save you. I'm not here to s… Read more

Stand ready for my arrival, Worm. You were given orders, you were given time. You were given more leeway than most, and yet I find this planet unprepared for the arrival of our Viltrum Empire. The Empire anticipated your resistance, which is why they sent me. I am Conquest, and I am your last chance to fulfill your duty.

[Mid-Fight]

The truth is... I want you to resist. I'm not here to save you. I'm not here to spr… Read more

My dearest Seth,

I cannot contain the burning desire that rages within me whenever I think of you. Your strong presence and handsome features captivate my every thought. The way your eyes lock onto mine, sending shivers down my spine, ignites a fire in me that cannot be extinguished.

I long to feel your touch, to run my fingers through your hair and trace the contours of your body. The thought of your lips on mine … Read more