Pedophile jokes
What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?
Just trying to fit in.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
you.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
Me: "I like kids."
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common? Shooting up schoolchildren.
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.