A girl comes up to her dad and says can I borrow the car tonite I want to go this party dad says if u give a head job girl says your r my dad how can u say that dad says if u want the car girl thinks ok she starts dad that taste like shut dad yer your brother wanted the this morning
HEY THE BIGGEST DISTRACTION WILL NEVER BE MY TATTOOS IN THIS FACILITY IF YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING BUT IN ALL SERIOUSLY WELCOME TO THE BIGGEST FRAT PARTY TAKING PLACE NEAR THE OCEAN I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TELL MY FAMILY THIS OR MAYBE NOT DEPENDING WHAT GOING DOWN I AM VERY ADAPTIVE YHREW DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.Demon: why you sad
Guy: I’m in hell can’t u see
Demon: will we have fun here at hell
Guy: really nice
Demon: we do sleeping in on Mondays
GuY:OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in out lava or dive in fire if u die you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: ok dose that meean I’m a ghost
Demon: no ur not a ghost
Demon:Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: ooooooo i can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die and ur already dead remember that
Guy: ok but I am dead and if I die again I was already dead right?
Demon: yup.
Demon: I have a question are you gay and do you like kissing fire girls and if u die u are already dead
Guy: Ummm I am not gay and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon:then u won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal. I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away. Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? The wedding ring. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's." A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. What do tofu and dildos have in common? They are both meat substitutes. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil. What does a perverted frog say? "Rubbit." What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus. How is playing bridge similar to sex? If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off. Let's play carpenter! First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you. What do you do when your cat's dead? Play with the neighbor's pussy instead. How is life like toilet paper? You're either on a roll or taking s*** from someone. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year. What is Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off. What did the leper say to the sex worker? "Keep the tip." What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? A beaver dam. What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's fingers. What do you get when you jingle Santa's balls? A white Christmas. Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." What did one butt cheek say to the other? "Together, we can stop this crap." A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator.
I just a had a birthday party last week at my crib i invited two fine beautiful looking women one was skinny and her was kelly and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita both of them came by i told Chiquita only kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday you can't you too fat and clumsy and i don't have any food or drinks for you so see ya later nutty professor.
In pixels and polygons, a virtual realm unfolds, A battleground where warriors gather, young and old. A game of wits and strategy, a dance of skill and might, Behold the phenomenon, the world of Fortnite.
What is Fortnite, you ask, this digital sensation? A realm where dreams are forged, in endless animation. A world of endless possibilities, where heroes rise and fall, A tapestry of triumph, where victory calls.
From humble beginnings, a storm begins to brew, A hundred souls drop down, with dreams anew. An island vast and varied, a landscape to explore, From verdant meadows to urban cities, the battles roar.
With pickaxe in hand, we gather resources with haste, Wood, metal, and stone, the foundation of our base. We build and we craft, constructing our fort, A fortress of defense, where enemies are fought.
The storm looms ever closer, a force we can't deny, Pushing us closer together, as time quickly flies. We strategize and plan, our tactics ever shifting, In this ever-shrinking world, our spirits uplifting.
Weapons and loot, scattered throughout the land, We arm ourselves with firepower, take our final stand. Shotguns, rifles, explosives, and more, In this game of survival, we even the score.
But Fortnite is more than just a battle royale, A canvas for creativity, where imaginations set sail. From creative mode to party royale, a world of endless fun, With friends and strangers, united as one.
Yet amidst the chaos, let's not forget, Fortnite is but a game, a virtual vignette. For beyond the pixels and the storms that rage, Lies a world that beckons, beyond the digital stage.
So let us embrace the joy that Fortnite brings, A tapestry of moments, where victory sings. For in this realm of pixels and dreams, Fortnite shines bright, a testament it seems.
So gather your friends, embark on this quest, In the realm of Fortnite, put your skills to the test. For in the end, it's not just about the game we play, But the bonds we form, as we dance and slay.
