"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
Labor party.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Why did the DJ go to therapy?
Because he had too many issues with his TURNTABLE.
I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
Guys, what should I be for Halloween (aka tomorrow)?
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Why was the rapper always the life of the party?
Because they knew how to DROP the BEAT!
Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"
