One jokes
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
What's the one game emos hate?
Cut the rope.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
What do you call one orphan taking a photo?
A family photo.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
Yo life got no meaning, just like your dad when he left. Like if it's a good one.
I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.
A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.
Then it hit me.