One jokes
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
Memes
I feel this one on a personal level.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.
Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
What did one droplet say to the other?
"Water you thinking?"
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.