One jokes
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
What do you call one orphan taking a photo?
A family photo.
When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When a plane is in one of the sides.
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?
Nail one hand to the ground...
How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.