One jokes

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?

Sit down and shut up.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

How is the world like a box of crayons?

Nobody likes the white ones.

And a side note, it's multi colored.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

Just looking for a cunt...

Oh hello, found one.

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.

Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!

I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.

What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.

Anyone remember the following?

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.