One jokes

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?

Hop on.

I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.

Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?

Because they always get a hole in one!

A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?

To get to Birds Eye.

What did one ballsack say to another?

"You stay here, I'll go pee."

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

What did the tower say to the other one?

I will see you later; I am about to get hit.

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?

Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.

What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?

One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

How is the world like a box of crayons?

Nobody likes the white ones.

And a side note, it's multi colored.