Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
One Jokes
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
