One jokes
It looks like your dad is not the only one missing.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What's the one game emos hate?
Cut the rope.
Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang, but it came back, just like its parents.
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.
Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."
Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"