One jokes
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.
In her religion, you NEVER pull out.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?