One jokes

Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.

Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!

Just looking for a cunt...

Oh hello, found one.

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.

What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.

Yo mama's so fat, people think she only has one side!

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

He’s so short no one can see you very close by.

"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"

"No, it's 26."

"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."

"You're missing one more."

"I'll give you the D later."

"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"