What did one droplet say to the other?
"Water you thinking?"
One Jokes
How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?
Nail one hand to the ground...
How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Why did the one-eyed chicken cross the road?
To get to Birds Eye.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
What did one ballsack say to another?
"You stay here, I'll go pee."
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
