One jokes

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.

Why aren't orphans gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

What's the one game emos hate?

Cut the rope.

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?

"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?

Parents' evening.

What did one butt say to the other?

Something brown is slithering down.

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?

One is beautiful.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

It looks like your dad is not the only one missing.