One jokes
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When a plane is in one of the sides.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
Memes
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
Why do orphans like families? Because they wish they had one.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.