One jokes
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!