One jokes

What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!

What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?

Knock knock ones.

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two!

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

What is the difference between a black man and Jew?

One was born burnt.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Son: Dad, where are you?

Dad: Getting another one.

Son: Getting what?

Dad: Dad.

How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?

They flip it over.

If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."

What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?

"Make me one with everything."

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.