One jokes
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.