One jokes

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?

A meter stick.

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!

Which one do you want to watch? 😀"

What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!

What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?

Knock knock ones.

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two!

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"