One jokes
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Memes
me now & go look at one of my first posts on here
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.