One jokes

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?

Guns only have one trigger.

What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?

Their place.

What is the difference between a black man and Jew?

One was born burnt.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

The boys joking be like:

One guy: "Balls!"

All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"

Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?

Because no one forgets it! :)

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.