One

One jokes

Stool

    • Three gay guys walk into a bar.

    There is only one stool left, what do they do?

    They flip the stool over.

  • 0

    • Pickle

    • So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

    Wish

    • So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.

    The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.

  • 0
    • One memes

    Mama

    • Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.

    Bitch

    • An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.

    The man says, "Will you move your dog?"

    The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.

    The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"

  • 0

    • Hitler

    • Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

    But he really saved the History Channel.

  • 1

    • Morning

    • What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

    A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

  • 0

    • Morbid humor

    • What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

  • 21

    • Fork

    • A blind man went to a restaurant.

    "Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.

    The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"

  • 1

    • Adoption

    • Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!

  • 1

    • Gun

    • During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

    I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

    Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

    My friend was the only one who laughed.

  • 1

    • Feminist

    • What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

    At least one does something when it is triggered.

  • 44