One Jokes

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two!

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

Still from Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" music video with the text "Me when that one kid reminds the teacher about homework. You know the rules, it's time to die."

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

What is the difference between a black man and Jew?

One was born burnt.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?