One Jokes

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

What did one twin say to the other?

"Watch out for the plane!"

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

Two dogs are standing on grass. A black dog has its head on the head of a white dog. The text reads "Another one" and "The dust".

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

Yo mamma's so fat no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.

One was just a plane tortilla.

The other one was also just a plane tortilla.

And the third one went to the wrong address.

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?

One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.

Why is daonlyjuanhere an orphan?

Because he is the only one.

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.