One jokes

What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?

One held its balance, the other two fell.

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?

The white one actually did it!

Heaven is like university: no one gets in.

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?

One you can unscrew.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"