One jokes

What do you call someone that no one loves?

An orphan.

What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?

They both have a hole in one.

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

Why are orphans bad at basketball?

Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.