One jokes
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Memes
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.