One Jokes

Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:

Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!

No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

How many gears does a French tank have?

One forward and six reverse.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.