One jokes

One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.

I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.

Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."

Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.

Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?

I tried to catch air once... I mist.

I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"

The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.

How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!

Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."