One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
One Jokes
What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
Why do orphans like families? Because they wish they had one.
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
Why is the white man in prison scarier than the black one?
The white one actually did it!
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
