One jokes
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.