One jokes

There are two types of faces:

The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.

Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.

I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.

I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?

Because it was a Rogue One!

One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.

I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?

Because then Cincinnati would want one too.

What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.

What did one male whale say to the other male whale?

"She's gonna blow!"

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.

Students: Hiding under desk.

Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!

How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?

One, if the bag is family size.