One jokes
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?
Let’s rock!
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.
One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?