One

One jokes

Meat

    • Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.

    They both routinely place meat in small buns.

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    • Bigfoot

    • So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

    One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

    He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

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    • Tree

    • Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.

    Millionaire

    • A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"

  • 0
    • One memes

    Indian

    • Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.

    One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"

    The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."

    The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"

    The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."

    Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"

    The not so smart Indian replies,

    "Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."

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    • Wheelchair

    • One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

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    • Hitler

    • When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

    "One, he killed himself."

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    • Bear

    • A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.

    And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"

    And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."

  • 2

    • Hitler

    • You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.

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    • Book

    • One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

    "Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

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    • Road

    • Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

    So no one would know what side he was on.

  • 0

    • Dad

    • I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

    My dad was one hell of a pilot.

    Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

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