One jokes
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
What did Mars say to Saturn?
"Give me one of your rings!" 😄
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
Why are the Twin Towers and after girls kill all boys similar?
There used to be two but now there's one...
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
What pants do you wear to church? Hole-y ones.
I have a friend that sells backpacks for a living. You can draw on them using markers of different color variants.
He one day said his business was "remarkable."
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?