What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.
I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
What knight is never wrong?
Sir Tain.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Age is just a number Police are just people Jail is just a room
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!
¿Qué hizo el cartero enojado?
Estampó su feeeeeeet!!!
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
