Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?
One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
We gotta work ahead, people!
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?
“because they always wanted a daddy”
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
