Occupation jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
Why doesn't the pirate go to the strip club?
Because he has ALL of the booty!
Why didn't the pirate want to play cards?
Because he was standing on the deck!
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
I blend children to make a good living.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.