Occupation jokes
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
I blend children to make a good living.
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
I lick poo for a living... You?