Construction Worker

Construction Worker Jokes

Why did the rapper become a construction worker?

Because they were always BUILDING UP their RHYMES

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says ā€œIf I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.ā€ The second guys says ā€œIf get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridgeā€. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.ā€ The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says ā€œIf he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.ā€ The second guys wife says ā€œIt is all my fault. If only I knew.ā€ The third wife says ā€œI donā€™t get it, he makes his own lunch.ā€

6

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad. The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here.

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because Iā€™m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause Iā€™d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because Iā€™d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs arenā€™t. Iā€™m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I donā€™t know whatā€™s gotten into me lately... but I hope itā€™s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because Iā€™ll bomb whatā€™s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. Iā€™m so jealous of your heart right now because itā€™s pounding inside of you and Iā€™m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.