Object jokes
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
"Knife to meet ya."
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.
What is a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!!!!!
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.
I woke up and my pillow was gone.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.