Number jokes
What do squats eat? Numbers.
qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm!
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
Memes
i like paint
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
You're gay.
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)