Statistics jokes
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
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EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?" Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Statistics show 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷
I don't get it.
Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".
If a woman’s version of marriage is "happy wife, happy life," but statistically men are more likely to kill themselves, so who should be making who happy?
Then a man’s is "happy husband, don’t get bludgeoned."
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
According to statistics, 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!