Statistics jokes

I C U P works on 88% of people.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

97 percent of women...

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

They say people are 75% water.

But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

The average IQ increases in both places.

90,900,00,1090,279402% of girls are raped. 67% of women are raped. So I guess girls are sexier than women! Who agrees? Please comment: Good or Bad.

You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.

Statistics show 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.

A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!

Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!

China has a population of a billion people. One billion.

That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.

Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.

Calculate my dick, virgins!

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: Seeing others happy.

Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?

Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.

Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.

Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...

Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?

Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".