Number Jokes

Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?

Getting your fingers stuck in there.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.

They say there is power in numbers.

Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.

Did you know I can't count to whatever number is after 4?

Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.

It says, "271032."

What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?

Sixty nein.

Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.

What comes after 69?

Period.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

Why is 10 afraid?

Because he next to 9 and 11.

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.

"Rapeboat momma" on OnlyFans. Rapeboat is her number one sub.

Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.

Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.

What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with her?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with him?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."

Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"