Number jokes
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.