Number jokes
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
Memes
welp u alr know what it is
Why is 10 afraid?
Because itβs in the middle of 9/11.
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! Itβs weird.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.