Number jokes

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

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Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."

Why was 10 afraid?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

6 looks like someone facing up.

9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.

They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.

I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."

Been learning Chinese...

69 is too-can-chew.

I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.

Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.

Why was 6 so afraid of 7?

7 killed 6's parents.

Why did Ten die?

It was between 9/11.

What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".

What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Bobby had 54 dicks (54).

He took 33 pills a month (5433).

Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).

(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.

A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"

Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"