Number jokes
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"
Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"
welp u alr know what it is
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
(6x9)+6+9=69
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
789.
Your mom #69.