Middle jokes
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
How do you blow up an Indian? Press the red dot in the middle of their forehead!
馃ぃ馃槀馃槅馃榿
Rice Middle School
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11!
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
What was the winning play at the leper football game? A hand off up the middle.
What do Middle Eastern suicide bombers say before they blow up?
I weel sho u wot da bom bom is! ALLAH!
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
Why can鈥檛 girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they鈥檒l get stoned.