Number jokes

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What did the kid say to the toilet?

"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"

I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.

Why am I so sad?

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

It was pornography class, and there was a break.

Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...

Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?

Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...

Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Where's the D?

Adult 2: Inside me...

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

Q: Why was 10 afraid?

A: Because he was always between 9/11.

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered six offender.

What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?

Two number NEINs.

Me, calls the police*

Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!

Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.

Me: Why, so you can then stop me?

Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!

Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!

Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!

So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.