How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
