Not jokes

Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?

They’re always spotted!

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

What kind of cake can an orphan not have?

Homemade.

What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?

He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.

Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Why can't orphans be robbers?

Because they're not wanted.

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.