Not jokes

OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.

The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.

What kind of cake can an orphan not have?

Homemade.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.

Imagine not having a dad.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"