Not jokes

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.

Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?

He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.

Why do orphans not like July 24th??

Because it's Parents Day.

Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.