Not jokes
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
What do Hiroshima and Herobrine have in common?
They're not heroes.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?
Not a family photo.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.