Not jokes
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
Memes
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... Yeah.
(Not Original Joke)
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.