Not jokes
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
Memes
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.