Not jokes

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”

A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.

Like if you're not a gay.

Dislike if you're furry.

Repost if you HATE blacks.

Comment for VBUCKS.

Sub to me on YouTube, it's my friend and he has aids, send him joeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!

Two Native Americans

Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"

The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.

His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"

Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.

I keep going back and forth on them.

Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

Why do orphans not like July 24th??

Because it's Parents Day.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."

Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?