Not jokes

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

Jokes are like food.

Not everyone gets it.

A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

What do orphans not see on a controller?

The home button.

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.

Mom: I made you.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"

No one wants him, not even the bees.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.

Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.