Not jokes

Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.

I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.

Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.

Why would the chicken not cross the road?

Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

Why can't orphans ever be criminals?

He is not wanted.

Kid: Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Kid: Not your parents.

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.

They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?

I am in trouble.

Why do orphans not like laptops?...

They don't have a homepage.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

Not like they can tell their parents.

"Knock, knock."

"Orphan: Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?

Criminals are wanted.

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.