Not jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Orphan

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

Race

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

Memes

Orphan

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

Elbow

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

Dad

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

Fun

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Mom

Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.

Mom: I made you.

OnlyFans

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

Watermelon

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Pilot

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

Orphan

Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"

No one wants him, not even the bees.

Head

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Plastic

What do lesbians and turtles have in common?

They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)

Hairline

Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.