Not jokes
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."
That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
I want your weight, not your phone number.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.