Not jokes
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
Memes
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Jokes are like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!