Not jokes
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?
Not my problem.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Imagine. Kobe could not.
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
Your mother's hairline is sooooooo long cause Dora the Explorer could not explore it.
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.