Not jokes
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"
My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,
You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?
Mother's Day and Father's Day.
It's not a joke.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted.
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.