News Jokes

my teacher said say welcome to our new student he's an orphan the teacher said is anyone missing I said that kids parents

Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called feetus deletus

me and my suicidal friend are close, so i took him to the mall to treat him. we bought snacks, a new controller for his xbox and a led lights for him room to hopefully brighten his mood. after we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana. “Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”

Son-Dad I need a new butt. Dad-why son? Son-because my'n has a huge crack in it.

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for christmas? A new ass because his one has crack on it.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu you get what you deserve!

What did the rapper name his new DOG?

Lil Bark

what is johnny depp's new legal name?

johnny in debt.

As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car. So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."

Man walks in to the doctor He says” doctor I need a new butt mine has a crack in it” Doctor-how many time do I have to tell you!!!

Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

seems very long. you wont remember the tel number..... I remember it lile this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Patron is shopping for new bra , lady says your size (69) , Dolly says no way that too too too (222) big, so she goes to doctor , Doc I need something to make my boobs smaller , here take (51) pills for 6 days ( x6) and soo she did . days later she ran back to doc, jesus Christ doctor look what happened Im BOOBLESS. 55378008 upside down.

Jeffy: I need a new butt, my old one has a crack in it.

I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade, that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake)